Leading Seattle-based coffee franchise Starbucks has announced that it will counter the total lack of available locations for new outlets by opening new branches of Starbucks inside other Starbucks. The rapid expansion of the world’s leading coffee retailer had recently hit a ceiling when it was discovered that there were no more local corner cafés or small businesses to take over and replace with new units of the global coffee giant. There were simply no more sites left to dedicate to selling disappointingly stodgy muffins or frothing luke warm milk for a 7000 per cent profit. The Marketing Director at Starbucks, Brian Mocha, explained: “Then we realized that we had acres of prime commercial space inside our own shops, and thought we could exploit that.”
Mocha also revealed that Starbucks laboratories were close to perfecting the “Nano-Latte”, a caffeine hit that can be inserted directly into the body at the molecular level, thus ensuring greater coffee saturation of the world market. “The possibilities are endless,” Monckton raved. “By 2030 we are planning to have “Nano-Starbucks” outlets surgically implanted in every stomach.”
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