Ring, Ring, Ring: It’s God Calling Paris

A newly redeemed Paris Hilton piously whispers, “I’m not the same person I was.  I used to act dumb.  It was an act.  I am 26 years old, and that act is no longer cute.  It is not who I am, nor do I want to be that person for the young girls who looked up to me.  I know now that I can make a difference, that I have the power to do that.  I have been thinking that I want to do different things when I am out of here.  I have become much more spiritual.  God has given me this new chance.”

She said she would like to help in the fields of breast cancer, her grandmother had breast cancer or multiple sclerosis.  Her father’s mother suffers from that disease.  She thought she might get toy companies to build a kind of Paris Hilton playhouse, where sick children might come (Oh Michael Jackson…Are you listening?) and the toy companies could donate toys.

She has had a person whom she described as a spiritual adviser who said, “My spirit or soul did not like the way I was being seen and that is why I was sent to jail.”

God,” she said, “has released me.”

She is reading newspapers, The Los Angeles Times, The Wall Street Journal, and books like The Secret, The Power of Now and absolutely, absolutely of course…The Bible.  And finally, Paris devoutly assures the world, “I will never again have a drink and drive.”

Right.  Right to all that.  Yep.

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Happy Birthday, Marilyn!!

Marilyn Monroe Would Be 81 Years-Old Tomorow

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Marilyn Monroe Photo Montage

“Mr. President, the Late Marilyn Monroe.”

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