Script Cops: The Naked Taser Lightning Rod Weener Strike

Script Cops: The Naked Taser Lightning Rod Weener Strike

Script Cops: Naked Taser Strike is a perversely funny one-minute short film produced and directed by Scott Rice as part of the web series Script Cops made for Sony Pictures.  Script Cops takes place in a goofy alternate universe where bad script-writing has become a criminal offense; for example, a young filmmaker could be rounded up by the bad script patrol and charged with committing a cliché misdemeanor.  It’s a spot-on parody of COPS, where offensive screenwriter hacks are the bad boys, replacing the daffy drunks on COPS who were busy committing loony villainies.

In Naked Taser Strike, the offender is a dull, unoriginal writer who appears on the scene naked, waving a gun around.  He’s desperately trying to peddle his latest dismal screenplay, which he’s pitching as “a stalking sex comedy, starring Paris Hilton.”  The writer demands to be provided with a top literary agent, specifically Shane Black’s agent, or else he’s going to start shooting things up.  Needless to say, the frantic writer doesn’t get what he wants, but he does get something that he very much didn’t want!

Script Cops: The Naked Taser Lightning Rod Weener Strike

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Paris Rips McCain for His Obama Attack Ad

So now, Paris Hilton’s ripping on John McCain for having the nerve to put her in his Obama attack ad. Late last Sunday Paris’s mother Kathy slammed McCain for the waste of money, time and attention given to the ad in a blog for The Huffington Post. But Paris has made a big step further, taking her response to McCain and his ad to the camera in a scripted piece, saying “I’ll see you at the debates, bitches!!” Oh, and by the way, Paris wants to know if it will be alright to paint the White House pink.

Paris Hilton Slams John McCain

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Obama Rebuts McCain’s Celebrity Ad, While Parody Abounds

Obama Rebuts McCain’s Celebrity Attack Ad, As Parody Abounds

John McCain’s Celebrity Attack Ad

As major news organizations all across the country are becoming increasingly critical of Senator McCain for a steady stream of false, negative attacks, his campaign has launched yet another one. By featuring Paris Hilton and Britney Spears in an attack ad against Barack Obama, the senator from Arizona has risked charges of silliness to draw attention to his frequently overshadowed campaign.

In The Atlantic Magazine, Mark Ambinder described the reaction of John Weaver, for years one of John McCain’s closest friends and confidants, but who has been in exile since his resignation from McCain’s presidential campaign last year. With the exception of an occasional interview, he has, by his own account, bitten his tongue as McCain’s campaign has adopted a strategy that Weaver believes “diminishes John McCain.”

With the release of a McCain’s television ad blasting Obama for celebrity preening, Weaver said he’s had “enough.” The ad’s premise, he said, is “childish.” He added: “There is legitimate mockery of a political campaign now, and it isn’t at Obama’s. For McCain’s sake, this tomfoolery needs to stop.”

Meanwhile, The Times (London) has claimed that, “Mr McCain’s celebrity advertisement uses a tactic pulled straight from the political handbook of Karl Rove, the architect of President Bush’s two White House victories. He was a master of defining an opponent negatively, early, and of turning their strengths against them.”

Obama Counters: Is That the Best You Can Come Up With?

Mr. Obama discussed McCain’s celebrity ad yesterday during a campaign event in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. “Given the magnitude of our challenges when it comes to energy and healthcare and jobs and our foreign policy, you’d think that we’d be having a serious debate,” Mr. Obama said. “But so far, all we’ve been hearing about is Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. I mean I do-I do have to ask my opponent, is that the best you can come up with? Is that really what this election’s about? Is that what is worthy of the American people? Even the media has pointed out that senator John McCain who started off talking about running an honorable campaign has fallen back into the predictable political attacks the demonstrably false statements.”

Is That the Best You Can Come Up With?

Obama Responds: The Low Road

McCain’s Celebrity Ad Becomes an Inspiration for Satirical Parody

What if Chris Crocker, Britney Spears’ most notoriously emotional defender, was a big fan of Barack Obama too? Just what would he have to say about all of this? Well, thanks to Slate Magazine, now we know. “Leave Barack aloooonnnee!!!”

Chris Crocker: Leave Barack Aloooonnnee!!

And John McCain’s Britney Spears-Paris Hilton anti-Obama ad has inspired other parodies of his ad, such as this one:

McCain’s Britney-Paris Ad: A Parody

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Photo of the Day: Hillary and the Naked Giant

Photo of the Day: Soliloquy VII

Photography by: Sam Taylor-Wood

Censorship! That’s what some art lovers were whispering during a recent Hillary Clinton fundraiser. Two weeks ago, a Clinton fundraiser for 250 invited ladies was held at the Woodley Park home of Tony and Heather Podesta. The candidate was missing and so was the infamous artwork, Soliloquy VII, which led to hushed whispers that the picture was deemed unsuitable for a presidential campaign. The huge photograph of the nude man was missing from its usual spot on the living room wall, and some guests concluded that “politically correct” Clintonites had demanded that the naked guy disappear.

The Podestas are part of Washington’s Democratic elite: He’s a top lobbyist and the brother of Clinton White House chief of staff John Podesta; she just launched her own lobbying firm. They’re also nationally known collectors of contemporary art, and one of their favorite pieces is Soliloquy VII, an eight-foot-tall color photo of a nude man lying on his back, by British artist Sam Taylor-Wood. “It’s an iconic photograph in political fundraising circles,” Tony Podesta said yesterday. The $250,000 picture made quite a backdrop at a fundraiser for Clinton’s earlier Senate campaign, where the official photographer spent that night with his back to the art trying to prevent her from appearing in a shot with the naked guy. “She teases me about it all the time,” said Podesta.

Hillary’s Earlier Senate Campaign

In fact, the 8-foot naked-man photo is not a “documentary-style” photograph. In more cultured art circles, it is described as a modernization of painter Andrea Mantegna’s 1480 devotional work The Lamentation of the Dead Christ, which depicts the Virgin Mary, accompanied by Mary Magdalene and John the Apostle, weeping over the body of Mary’s crucified Son. Taylor-Wood faithfully replicates the original’s composition, here photographing, in vivid color and minute detail, a young man laid out on his back. Just one thing: Taylor-Woods omits the shroud and displays his subject in all his nakedness. In fact, this modern replication omits the Virgin Mary, John the Apostle, Mary Magdelene and the cold stone slab on which Christ was laid in Mantegna’s painting. Taylor-Wood’s naked man sprawls on a bed with fluffy pillows.

No matter what reasons Mrs. Clinton might give for not attending her latest fund-raiser in the Podesta’s private photo gallery of a home, the fact that it took place says at least two things: Many years after she first tried to dodge being caught there with a naked man, she didn’t mind exposing her supporters to the Podestas’ art collection. And, this election seems to be about a lot more than just our economy and our national security. It is about our culture, too.

Visiting a Taylor-Wood Art Exhibition (U.K.)


Let’s not forget that a similar thing occurred on the Obama campaign trail many months ago!!

Snake Charmer: A Painting by Jamie Boling

When Barack Obama arrived for his campaign fundraiser at a Virginia art gallery earlier this week, one large painting had been concealed rather quickly behind a curtain. There had been concerns that the painting by 33 year-old artist Jamie Boling might embarrass Senator Obama, who spoke to a gathering of about 500 supporters on Tuesday night at Richmond’s Plant Zero art gallery. The painting, which is shown above, is a 6′ x 10′ work entitled Snake Charmer that is based upon the now infamous paparazzi photo of Britney Spears, sans underwear, stepping out of a car that was being driven by Paris Hilton. Strictly for purposes of fine arts education, that photograph is presented below:

Please Stumble this one for poor little Britney!!
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Paris Hilton: God’s on Hold. For Now, it’s Drunken Elephants and Pole Swallowing.

Ring, Ring…God Calling Paris

Back in early June, newly redeemed Paris Hilton piously whispered, “I’m not the same person I was. I used to act dumb. It was an act. I am 26 years old, and that act is no longer cute. It is not who I am, nor do I want to be that person for the young girls who looked up to me. I know now that I can make a difference, that I have the power to do that. I have been thinking that I want to do different things when I am out of here. I have become much more spiritual. God has given me this new chance.”

She said that she would like to help in the fields of breast cancer, her grandmother had breast cancer or multiple sclerosis. Her father’s mother suffers from that disease. She thought she might get toy companies to build a kind of Paris Hilton playhouse, where sick children might come (Yoo-Hoo…Oh Michael Jackson…Are you listening?) and the toy companies could donate toys.

She said that she had a person in jail whom she described as a spiritual adviser who told her, “My spirit or soul did not like the way I was being seen and that is why I was sent to jail.” But now, she said, “God has released me.”

At the time, Paris said that she was reading newspapers, The Los Angeles Times, The Wall Street Journal, and books like The Secret, The Power of Now and absolutely, absolutely of course…The Bible. And finally, Paris devoutly assured the world, “I will never again have a drink and drive.”

Right. Right to all that. Yep. Sure….

Later God. It’s Drunken Elephants Now

Well, Paris’s work for the Lord didn’t last long, if at all. Hilton’s latest publicity crusade seemed to be highlighting the problem of binge-drinking elephants in northeastern India. Now, binge-drinking is certainly an area of considerable expertise for Paris. Activists say that Hilton’s celebrity endorsement would be sure to raise awareness of the plight of the pachyderms that get drunk on farmers’ homemade rice beer and then go on a rampage.

“The elephants get drunk all the time. It is becoming really dangerous. We need to stop making alcohol available to them,” the 26-year-old socialite allegedly said in a deeply heart-felt report that was posted on World Entertainment News Network’s Web site. Since then, her comments were picked up by other Web sites and newspapers around the globe.

Last month, six wild elephants that broke into a farm in the state of Meghalaya were electrocuted after drinking the potent brew and then uprooting an electricity pole. “There would have been more casualties if the villagers hadn’t chased them away. And four elephants died in a similar way three years ago. It is just so sad,” Hilton was allegedly quoted as saying in Tokyo last week. She was in Tokyo to judge a beauty contest.

And, of course, after all of this excitement, Hilton’s publicist now denies that Paris is working to help drunken elephants. However, Paris might make a trip to Rwanda next year. Now, that would be quite a sight….

Pink Drunken Elephants

And a Little Pole Swallowing

Now, after Paris made her important whirlwind trip to Tokyo to judge a fashion show, you just can’t blame the girl for going out on the town as soon as she flew back into New York City. Sometimes, a girl’s just got to let her hair down. In this case, Paris went out for a night of Pole Dancing, or as some have described Swallowing.

Paris Pole Swallowing

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My Articles for Sunday, September 30, 2007

The Clinton campaign’s way of dealing with complaints that Hillary looks too cunning is to toss in a bit of personality. This is worse: now she’s laughing like an alarm clock buzzer. “The Daily Show” pictured a voice inside her head saying, “Humorous remark detected, prepare for laughter display.”

Photographs and a video are included.

[tags: Hillary Clinton, politics, news, ceelebrities, photographs, video]

“Paris Hilton’s Many Talents: Film Star, Recording Artist, Entrepreneur and Ex-Con.” David Letterman grilled Paris Hilton mercilessly on his television show last week. Letterman’s “jail interrogation” made Paris squirm and squirm!! Poor thing. It’s very funny to watch!

Photograph and video are included.

[tags: Paris Hilton, David Letterman, television, celebreties, socialite, video, YouTube]

See the Rest of My Articles at Blue Dot

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Paris Hilton’s Many Talents: Film Star, Recording Artist, Entrepreneur and Ex-Con

But I Don’t Want to Talk About It…. 

Letterman Grills Hilton: Jail Interrogation Makes Paris Squirmy

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