Script Cops: The Naked Taser Lightning Rod Weener Strike

Script Cops: The Naked Taser Lightning Rod Weener Strike

Script Cops: Naked Taser Strike is a perversely funny one-minute short film produced and directed by Scott Rice as part of the web series Script Cops made for Sony Pictures.  Script Cops takes place in a goofy alternate universe where bad script-writing has become a criminal offense; for example, a young filmmaker could be rounded up by the bad script patrol and charged with committing a cliché misdemeanor.  It’s a spot-on parody of COPS, where offensive screenwriter hacks are the bad boys, replacing the daffy drunks on COPS who were busy committing loony villainies.

In Naked Taser Strike, the offender is a dull, unoriginal writer who appears on the scene naked, waving a gun around.  He’s desperately trying to peddle his latest dismal screenplay, which he’s pitching as “a stalking sex comedy, starring Paris Hilton.”  The writer demands to be provided with a top literary agent, specifically Shane Black’s agent, or else he’s going to start shooting things up.  Needless to say, the frantic writer doesn’t get what he wants, but he does get something that he very much didn’t want!

Script Cops: The Naked Taser Lightning Rod Weener Strike

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Dogged Fameball Ego-Blobber Julia Allison Airs on Most Obscure TV Channel Ever!

Dogged Fameball Ego-Blobber Julia Allison Airs on Most Obscure TV Channel Ever!

Gawker reports that the never-ending ego-blobber Julia Allison has just informed them of some amazing, breaking world news: Her videoblog, TMIweekly, has been picked up by NBC’s New York Nonstop. Now, this turns out to be highly appropriate, because New York Nonstop is certainly as close as it gets to the edge of internet obscurity, while still letting one claim to be on television. This makes it quite a suitable perch for the vapid, irrelevant musings of Allison, an inappropriately well-known dating columnist for Time Out New York, and her two cohorts, Silicon Valley heiress Meghan Asha Parikh and vapid handbag designer Mary Rambin. The episodes of TMIweekly, Allison’s videoblog, have featured the goofy trio blathering on and on about totally uninteresting aspects of their lives (just imagine very bad Twittering, only videotaped).

It’s all part of their faux-business called NonSociety. Allison recently reported that NonSociety had taken in revenues of $60,000 during all of 2008. Calculating with an advanced business metric known as earnings before expenses, that would give NonSociety’s three pseudo-socialite Foundresses a living-level that’s just slightly above minimum wage. Now, whatever NBC is paying Allison for her 24×7 filler, it’s certainly too much, as NBC’s own officials seem to realize! Meredith McGinn, Senior Manager of Special Products for NBC4, explained to the New York Daily News: “You’ll get your meat, your news, weather and headlines-every 15 minutes. In between those 15 minutes, you may have a two-minute segment, a two-minute pod, a five-minute pod. So the shows we’re looking at are in little bits, not your traditional half-hour newscasts.”

So the news is the meat, which makes TMIweekly what, exactly? Shredded lettuce? Mayo? Anything, surely, except relish. So rather than force-feed you to watch even one awful episode of Julia Allison’s TMIweekly, here’s Gawker videographer Richard Blakeley’s much funnier parody-spoof, Welcome to NomSociety:

Julia Allison and Cohorts: Welcome To NomSociety

Thanks to Gawker.

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